My evening at Ruby Blue
I was invited by my friend Javuray, to Ruby Blue. I never thought this day would come! You see, Ruby Blue is a bar frequented exclusively by programmers and is notorious for expecting high programming standards from their patrons. Legend has it that the barman once refused to serve a customer as he could not satisfactorily explain what the scope of a variable was.
Getting ready to head to the pub, I was nervous. Not because I might run into the lead programmer of tinder or monzo; oh how it would be to brush shoulders with the celebrities!
My main concern was that I recently started developing apps myself, but using no-code tools. It was a known fact, however, that the one thing programmers did not tolerate were visual developers. What if they found out? I tried to hide my anxiety as I messaged Javuray saying that I’ll meet him at 6 pm. The bar closed at 9 pm as many of the patrons lived with their parents and usually had an evening curfew.
I met Javuray at the entrance of the pub, and we went in. We found a corner spot near the window. Javurays’ friends were waiting for him. After some cool high-fiving, we all sat down for a drink. There was Steve, Maran and Poky. Javurays’ first encounter with them almost ended in a fight. Steve, Maran and Poky were Python programmers which was unacceptable to Javuray who used Java himself. But eventually, they sorted their differences and became besties.
The evening was just getting fun with discussions ranging from the new worlds in the assassin's creed to how VCs understood nothing when the attention suddenly turned towards me. So what do you do, asked Poky? I develop apps as a freelancer, I said hesitantly. Awesome, what do you mostly work on? asked Maran. A little bit of everything, I said. Come on bro, what is your language of choice? English, I replied sheepishly. I could see that I might need to come clean, there was no choice. I could see that Javuray was feeling nervous for me. Well, actually I do a lot of development on webflow and bubble. Poky almost spat his pepsi out! What?? Are you one of those lowcode developers man? Speak softly, said Javuray, are you trying to get him killed?
My worst nightmare had come true. Something inside me however wanted to stand up for my no-coder community. Well, it is not all that bad, I am able to develop apps in less than a week with pretty complex functionalities. What?? Asked Steve. You are joking, right? I suppose you use something like Member Stack to create user logins? Yes, what is wrong with that?, I asked.
Bro, you guys just come in without knowing shit about shit and think you can code, said Poky. I assured them that I did not know how to code and was just using the quickest way I know to develop apps. Also that I had a great deal of respect for programmers. “Psssh, have you even ever hosted an app on your own server? That is like driving a car without knowing how to change the transmission fluid”, said Maran. Well what is wrong with that?, I asked. I could see that the vibe was getting hostile. Maran did not even look at me when he asked everyone for another round of seven up. Javuray shot me a look, indicating I was better off leaving before things escalated. I made an excuse about my pet hamster (which was a lie, I owned a chihuahua called Ricky) and was getting ready to leave.
As I was heading towards the exit, as if I needed a final insult, Maran who was coming back with seven ups for the others looked at me. Shaking his head, he asked “Do you even git bro?”